Thoughts from Nowhere

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Last night I was having a great night. I got my history test done and I got to talk to my beautiful girlfriend over skype for a while. For some reason, right as I was getting in bed for the night, a barrage of negative thoughts assaulted me from all sides. I felt like something was trying to eat its way out of my heart. I got so frustrated that I’m back living with my parents, that I’m at community college, that I feel so alone all the time, that I get so discouraged in myself and lose hope so often, and that the first thing I think of when I get upset is to rant to my girlfriend. I know that when I get like this, it’s got to be so discouraging for her. I know that this distance (just a few hundred miles) is as hard for her as it is for me. I know that even though she’s at college with her friends, she still misses me as much as I miss her. It’s just so easy for me to get selfish and go off about stupid stuff. I need to start thinking positively, finding the good in these situations. Yes, I’m living with my parents, but this could be an opportunity to show them that I’m growing up to be a responsible adult! Yes, I’m at community college, but I’m saving my parents a lot of money, and if I get good enough grades, I’ll be transferring in January! Yes, I’m away from my girlfriend, but this is such an opportunity for us to grow in our trust, and to form a really tight emotional bond to each other while we can still focus on the stuff that we as individuals need to accomplish! I guess that’s all for now. I just needed to get all that out there.


Written by individual

November 3, 2010 at 10:31

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